Never Been Alive
by hurohurokuma
Summary: He had never been alive; not until he saw her. Not until she was standing with the sunlight playing with her platinum blonde hair, watching him with intelligent sky blue eyes; he had never felt so afraid to lose anyone's gaze. Bixlow never thought that time could run so fast when he was with her. [College!AU; Slow!Dev BixAnna (Jock!Bixlow; ArtStudent!Lisanna)]
1. not his problem, not his shit

He had never been alive; not until he saw her. Not until she was standing alone with the sunlight playing with her platinum blonde hair, watching him with intelligent sky blue eyes; he had never felt so afraid to lose anyone's gaze. Benjamin Kase Law never thought that time could run so fast when he was with her. [College!AU; Slow!Dev BixAnna (Jock!Bixlow; ArtStudent!Lisanna)]

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><p><strong>I hold no ownership or whatsoever of Fairy Tail and the characters used in this work of fiction. The Cover Art is made by me inspired by the covert of the book Paths of the Minor Planets by Andrew Sean Greer.<strong>

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><p><strong>Additional Notes: <strong>Lighthearted (Slow!Dev BixAnna ); BixAnna multi chapter fic, coming right up! College!AU (Jock!Bixlow; ArtStudent!Lisanna)_ But then again, this is a College AU as mentioned earlier in my summary. Expect that there _might_ be mentions of sex, college horror, or worse drugs._ I will not be held responsible for tainting your innocence or of the like.

This is part of a series I'm working on, **Before Midnight Confessions**. This is the second installment (the previous: **Counting Stars**, a GaLe (GajEvy)), starting off with Bixlow's point of view which may or may not be followed by Lisanna's. If you like this, and want to check the other installments: go and check my profile for the first installment!

**Bixlow**'s name here is **Benjamin Kase Law** because Bixlow is too farfetched to be a name however, that is what he is generally called by the others. He is also characterized differently.

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><p>"Do you think Lisanna's alright?" Freed said as he planted himself next to him at the bleachers. She was standing not too far away from them idly checking on Elfman much to the dismay of the other men in the football team. <em>Damn, he was lucky to have a sister like that.<em>

Benjamin turned to him slightly, brows pulled in a not amused expression. "Now you gossip. What's next, you'll pull your bangs into a silly ponytail?" he snorted crudely with no sign of remorse in his tone. Because hell, he was serious when he said Freed was getting on too much with Mirajane.

"You know what I mean, Benjamin," the other replied. The football player turned to his companion slightly, and then turned his attention to Lisanna Strauss. She was standing there, smiling so brightly as though she hadn't just broken up a five year relationship with her then boyfriend and best friend, Natsu Dragneel.

Freed barely used his real name, only when he's serious. Although at times, merely to be polite; as if politeness and Bixlow mixed in one sentence. _So was gossiping about his friend's crush's little sister's life a serious case?_ Perhaps for the other but not for him.

"If she is that ain't my problem now, is it?" he said sighing loudly. He didn't want this talk with him. "Everyone thought they were getting married, so what if they don't want to succumb to society's prospect?"

He didn't really think the two of them were a good fit, like everyone else. There was just something wrong with the picture; just because they were childhood friends doesn't mean it would be a prelude to a happily ever after love, _does it?_ But, anyways, there was just no spice to it; unlike Ever and Elfman's little cat-and-dog-game with all that sexual tension (which was so entertaining).

_But who was he to judge?_ He barely took notice of the young lovebirds. Most of the time, Benjamin would retreat in his own world, playing with the possibilities of his dolls to be secretly alive at night, or something closely weird. He could bet that he was autistic or something. If it hadn't been for Football or his high school buddies, he'd be pretty much alone in a corner like a socially-awkward introvert (and kind of autistic he might add).

"I notice you get all philosophical out of the blue, am I rubbing on you?" his companion supplied cheekily.

"Perhaps, I'm reconsidering my preference, Freed," he said instead winking at his companion who in turn made a sound of disgust before falling off his seat. The man was so easily flustered. He made a bark of laughter before leaving his friend there furious and slightly flustered with his awful attempt of a joke.

He turned to her again, just to see her looking his way. He hated the fact that he could see right past her unlike most and even her very own friends. Perhaps it is some odd talent of his, but he does see right through people's tough acts. Imaginably, that was why Freed had insisted on her as a topic.

And she was _not _smiling.

She was a mess inside. But he wonders; _why him? Why was she looking at him? Was she aware he can see right through her act? Was she compelling him to turn the tables? Perhaps she wanted him to play his games on her? Perhaps she wanted to have at least one to find out what's happening inside her pretty little head?_

-/-

He could see her silhouette before the red drapes of the Art room. _What was she doing there?_ Well, she probably had class there; after all she was an Art Major.

Her curvy figure standing in stillness against the glass window, perhaps she was watching them again. Or rather, she was watching _him_. This man she's been watching all along was the reason for every single bit of her shattered heart. He wonders who it is. For some reason it felt like it wasn't Natsu. _Maybe it was a 'she'? _Idly he wondered if she was secretly lesbian, and that was why they broke up._ But that was too implausible,_ he mused.

No one could ever guess what's inside the little Strauss's head, or even any Strauss women for that matter. Elfman was highly predictable unlike his sisters. The women of the Strauss family should be feared or so he assumes with a couple of encounters with Mirajane.

He turned his attention back to his team mates, all of them eager to show off for the female audience at the bleacher even that brooding Gajeel was up on his feet; quite oblivious on the one in the Art room. Though Natsu seemed to have noticed, maybe he should give the boy more credit that he initially did. Because right now, the boy was staring at him intently; as if watching his every action.

"What is it, kiddo?" he chimed carefully though it might have come out careless. A tongue lolling grin, "Am I irresistible to men too now?"

Natsu didn't look embarrassed even the slightest by his staring; instead, he gave his own toothy grin. "Hey, Bixlow, have you ever been in the art room? You kept looking at it until now."

"Nah, my talent lies elsewhere," he replied before he could stop himself. There was something fishy in this picture. That grin was something odd to see. It was forced like the tight fist on the boy's side. There was something strange about this whole break up. But why him? Because he sure didn't want to give prep talk to these kids.

He looked back to the window, but she was no longer there. These kids were messing with him, that's for sure. Maybe Freed was hinting on it. But he ain't got the luxury of time for that.

-/-

"You can't probably be serious!" Gajeel Redfox shouted indiscriminately calling further attention towards them. There Juvia Loxar stood, with both hands clasped in front of her as if in fervent prayer to a god. "No, woman, fuck no. And I ain't doing it no matter how many bucks you're paying."

He looked so scandalized that Benjamin was tempted to take a picture of it for blackmail purposes but he was too engrossed in eavesdropping to do so. And so was the rest of the team. At least he was discreet about it unlike the fools that were blatantly staring causing both Gajeel and Juvia to blush further.

_What was that? Did Juvia finally ask him to take a next step to be friends with benefits? Or perhaps something else completely? _

"Ugh," came Ever's voice dragging his attention towards his friend. She stood there arms folded in front, a scowl decorating her face. With another inhuman growl of frustration, she turned to him, "You!" she said pointing at him accusingly, with eyes piercing his poor soul. He froze.

Ever was getting him in deep shit again.

"You will be the nude model for our Art class, and that's final!" she said huffing oh so proudly. He felt the corners of his mouth twitch, but he tried to keep his smile. All eyes were on him, and he could hear Juvia and Gajeel give a sigh of relief.

Everyone was horribly quiet until Laxus broke into a fit of laughter. This was one of those moments he wonders why he was friends with these atrocious people. _Shit_, even Freed was laughing quietly beside Laxus. He felt his smile wiped off his face as it turned into a full fledge frown at the sight of even the least evil among his friends, Freed, laughing at him.

Then he made a tongue lolling grin once again, taking the upper hand. "If you wanted to see me nude so badly, you could always ask me, Ever," he said slyly. He could see Elfman taken aback from his statement, and Laxus laughing some more along with the bastards he called, teammates. "Aside if you really want some audience?"

But Ever had grown quite callous to his vulgar taunts after spending consecutive years with him, and was unfazed by this. Instead, she smirked at him, victory painted on her lips, "You need to pay your _rent_, don't you?"

In his entire life, that might have been the cruelest thing Ever Green could have said. He had been told that he was a conceited superficial bastard that had some sort of inferiority complex or perhaps his appearance— but that was nothing. His rent had done nothing wrong with her. But, no, she just wanted to use it against him._ How did she even find out? Was she like dating his landlord or something? _But of course that didn't need to be done. She was _Ever_; and she does what she wants; and gets what she wants.

His smile yet again faded, as the others in the background cooed, '_Burn_!' He sent Freed, his friend-slash-roommate, a glare before grudgingly agreeing to their stupidity. He didn't really mind stripping for money's sake. Really, he didn't. Shit, if the other artists were girls, he might just get himself laid.

Or maybe he did mind.

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><p><strong>a.n:<strong> This fic goes on and on casually and drift off casually; slow paced and that shit. I'm not sure if there are much BixAnna fans there, but here goes nothing but my crack pairing. This is for my friends who got wasted in a sleepover at my other friend's condo. Thanks for letting me know how bad you guys are when drunk. It's a good thing I wasn't there. :)

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**For the _complete credits_ of the cover art: **The Cover Art is made by me inspired by the covert of the book Paths of the Minor Planets (by Andrew Sean Greer) which was made by the cover design of Henry Sene Yee & Emily Mahon; Illustration by Philip Pascuzzo; Author photograph by David Ross. It's a beautiful book, but I have yet to finish it.

**SECOND MULTI-CHAPTER FAN FICTION ACCOMPLISED** \(^w^)/~(hurohuro)


	2. no adonis

He had never been alive; not until he saw her. Not until she was standing alone with the sunlight playing with her platinum blonde hair, watching him with intelligent sky blue eyes; he had never felt so afraid to lose anyone's gaze. Benjamin Kase Law never thought that time could run so fast when he was with her. [College!AU; Slow!Dev BixAnna (Jock!Bixlow; ArtStudent!Lisanna)]

* * *

><p><strong>I hold no ownership or whatsoever of Fairy Tail and the characters used in this work of fiction. The Cover Art is made by me inspired by the covert of the book Paths of the Minor Planets by Andrew Sean Greer.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Additional Notes: <strong>Lighthearted (Slow!Dev BixAnna ); BixAnna multi chapter fic, coming right up! College!AU (Jock!Bixlow; ArtStudent!Lisanna)_But then again, this is a College AU as mentioned earlier in my summary. Expect that there _might_ be mentions of sex, college horror, or worse drugs._ I will not be held responsible for tainting your innocence or of the like.

This is part of a series I'm working on, **Before Midnight Confessions**. This is the second installment (the previous: **Counting Stars**, a GaLe (GajEvy)), starting off with Bixlow's point of view which may or may not be followed by Lisanna's. If you like this, and want to check the other installments: go and check my profile for the first installment!

**Bixlow**'s name here is **Benjamin Kase Law** because Bixlow is too farfetched to be a name however, that is what he is generally called by the others. He is also characterized differently.

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><p>He was no Adonis. He barely looked fine. He was lanky, with broad shoulders and narrow hips. His muscles were more or less, just enough to engulf his bones, though fit, he felt like he was still lacking more. He was awkward. But he does try to always carry himself with enough grace he could muster. Maybe not as much as Freed does, but he was not as jagged as Laxus.<p>

He was not by any means insecure. He seriously wasn't. He just felt awkward. But being always around a man as buff as Laxus, accompanied with a string of women; a man as pretty as Freed who have some secret fan club, he was bound to feel so. Then there was Ever who kept reminding him of proper body poise and lifestyle.

Not to mention it had been quite some time since he last actually slept with some girl or worked out at a gym.

Examining himself in front of the mirror, he sighed. _Why did he get into this mess again?_ Oh, right, Ever. He trailed his hand on his stomach. Sure he had abs and quite a sensual proportion. But he wasn't an exhibitionist. Oh, fucking Ever. If only—_perhaps he could get Elfman to do it? Make him manly enough to do it?_ Other than that, Ever was in that same class as well, the Strauss-_man _would be dying to do it.

But the rent. _Why doesn't his landlord get sucked into the toilet and off to a next world?_

.

.

.

The moment he stepped in the room, the heads were turned to his direction. The guys made incoherent disgusted sounds, while the girls whispered to each other. He rolled his eyes when his gaze met Ever's victorious look. If she expected him to strip _everything_, she'd be wrong. As smug as ever, she sat there with the pencil between her fingers, in attempt to look attractive in whatever angle. It didn't work on him.

He just wanted to strangle her.

Then his eyes landed on Juvia who was the root of it all. If she hadn't been so smart to ask her best friend to model in front of the whole football team, then this wouldn't have come to this point. She was biting her pencil looking intently at her empty sketchpad, though she was completely indifferent of his arrival.

He just wanted to wipe that indifference on her face.

He painted his own arrogant look. He'd never let them know that they were getting the upper hand. So he stood there, cocking his head to the side as the teacher introduced him to the class as their model. With precautionary questions about his willingness to do it, they proceeded.

The guys in the glass retreated at the back most easels after the girls started giggling uncontrollably. He couldn't blame them. Hell, he'd run off to the other side if he had a choice. He took off his shirt carefully, trying not to attract attention as the teacher made welcoming lectures. Still, there were some who kept giving dog whistles at him. He slipped off his pants wondering vainly if he could at least keep his boxers.

But the girls' expectant glances told him otherwise. _Seriously._

"Bixlow," as he was known widely by the students and teachers themselves. "Come here, boy," the teacher continued gesturing him towards the window seat. Though everyone wanted some sort of spot light on him, it seems like the teacher wanted 'natural lighting' or whatever.

He did, still wearing his boxers though. With yet another discreet sigh he thought, the last thing he'd want is to pop a boner in front of this class. Unconsciously, he began to rub his stomach, trying to heat it from the coldness outside his normal fitting clothes. Maybe he should really keep his boxers.

"Off with the boxers, boy," came Cana Alberona's holler._Wait, why was she even in this class?_ He sent a wink to the direction of the voice sending the girls there flustered, "Aye, I will, no need to get your panties on a twist."

She laughed boisterously causing the teacher to give her a warning look. Now, if things were bad, they were getting worse. He'll never hear the end of this from that woman, not to mention Ever. Drinking nights with his buddies would never be the same. _Why didn't they get Gray anyway?_

_Oh, right, because the real stripper was off for some funeral._

"Wow," an evident brave voice came. Now, that's an ego-boost. He tried not to turn to the direction of the voice, as he slipped off the boxers. His back was facing the 'audience', while he tried to look as steel as he could.

With a discreet sigh, he sat himself at the window seat following the instructions of the teacher. It was going to be a long day.

.

.

.

To say he was bored would be an understatement. He was dying there. He just sat on the window seat, stark naked, his butt numb, and everyone doing the fun stuff (like sketching him_). Like sketching him was actually fun_. He tried not to look annoyed. He tried to look like he was pondering. He tried. But it might have looked weird.

He could see Gray in a brand new light now. That Fullbuster kid was a damn exhibitionist. _If he wasn't, how could he possibly do this on usual routine?_

Aside from the hushed lectures the teacher gave the students individually, nothing much comprised the atmosphere. The sound of the pencil waltzing the sketchpads was only making him sleepy. Then a thud came, followed by a sound of something rolling off. That was new. His gaze turned towards the audience, catching a glimpse of a shockingly bright shade of hair.

Lisanna Strauss picked up her pencil, before looking up at him. Then she stood up, holding his gaze easily. He hadn't realized she was here, though everyone knew she was an Art Major. She stood there as if they stood alone in the world, holding each other's gazes. _Shit, he sounds so fucking creepy._

But she was so beautiful.

He felt heat rise on his cheeks, as she continued to look at him. His heart pumping ridiculously wild; he had never felt so alive.

Her hair flicked under the gracious sunlight, dancing in her glorious platinum blonde. But that said would be just an understatement. _Why hadn't he realized it looked much closer to silver than anything else? _He sat there staring at her intelligent sky blue eyes hoping he'd drown in them. He had never felt so afraid to lose someone's gaze. His mouth parted slowly as if he meant to say something, but it died when she stepped back and turned around.

He watched her sway back to her seat, noting that time ran too fast. He hadn't realized she had stood there for a minute or so already. She sat on her seat, which now he could easily locate. On the farthest part, along with the men afraid to see he was _bigger_ than them. Hah, _who was he fooling?_ But, hell, he'd hate to sketch some conceited man too anyways if he had that talent or class.

Now he felt horribly conscious of his nakedness, and his lanky figure. _Holy shit_, he had never felt so ugly in his life. Not until a goddess showed up, and started sketching him.

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><p><strong>a.n:<strong> This took longer than it should. I could only apologize so much for the delay. **m(_ _)m**

But senpai noticed this fic in tumblr. And I was like jaj;fsdjg. But anyways, check me out on Tumblr! That would be: [ **the bear chief *dot* tum blr *dot* ****com**] You know the drill! (●・㉨・●) ﾉ

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**For the _complete credits_ of the cover art: **The Cover Art is made by me inspired by the covert of the book Paths of the Minor Planets (by Andrew Sean Greer) which was made by the cover design of Henry Sene Yee & Emily Mahon; Illustration by Philip Pascuzzo; Author photograph by David Ross. It's a beautiful book, but I have yet to finish it.


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